Wednesday, February 27, 2013

The F Word.


I read a great post on Miss Zippy’s (my running coach before my IT band shut down) blog this morning. It gave me encouragement to write to you guys today.

Driving into work this morning, I was pondering what I wanted to blog about. I’ve been a little off this week due to personal stuff that I don’t feel like sharing with all of cyberspace, so it’s been kind of a weird week. My immediate thought process was, in order to hide my ‘off-ness’ from all my fantastic readers, I would just write a Weird Wednesday post about something super out there (which sadly isn’t too hard for me) and call it a day.

Then I read the post mentioned above, on “Fakebooking.” Anyone who is consistently using social media knows this isn’t something new. Facebook more often than not is the land of ‘hey, look what I did, my life is perfect and nothing is ever wrong!” And sometimes, it’s freaking exhausting, to the point where you want to roll your eyes and chuck your laptop out the window.

Guilty.
I like to think I make attempts to stay transparent on here with you guys. I’ve shared struggles with moving, injuries, etc. But let’s be honest, unless you are one of my closest friends, did you know that so far I’m having a fabulously crappy week? Probably not. I certainly didn’t announce it on Facebook.

Let me clarify, I’m not looking for reasons to sit here and bitch. In fact, I don’t really want to bitch at all. I posted this on Instagram last night and I mean it:

source
Yet I strongly believe that sharing struggles and being real are simple ways to help others. Because to take off that ‘perfect social media mask’ and declare that you are failing at something, or need help, or need a hug, well, I think that’s super respectable.

So, let’s dabble shall we?

I’m sucking at most of my New Year’s Resolutions. Pretty badly. For one, I’ve been chewing my cuticles raw to the point where I maybe should just start wearing gloves 24/7. It’s ugly and I hate the habit but right now it’s getting the best of me. Does anyone have any tips for this?


I kept it zoomed out to keep the grossness factor to a minimum.
I know I wrote that I was going to stay positive about this stupid stress fracture, and I’m trying. But not being able to run is really getting to me. A lot.

I threw a small tantrum while trying to submit my taxes last week. It was my first time doing them on my own (Andrew had to help me a lot too) and I really don’t understand them. I’m really trying to cut the H-word out of my vocabulary, but I think I hate them.

I am honestly, genuinely fearful that I’m currently failing. Like, big picture failing. I don’t really know how else to put it. Because when I take a step back and say to myself, "How well is my life  reflecting Jesus in this moment?" Well, I’m not sure that it is.

best camp ever.
I cried at yoga last night. Not like, sitting there bawling, but I definitely welled up and let my tightness and newness to the practice finally get to me. Thank goodness the room was dark. Oh yeah, and I haven’t lifted weights in over a week. Remember when I gave that lecture about how important lifting weights is?

Lastly, I miss volleyball. Mainly the team aspect of it.


There’s some realness for you. Big thanks to Amanda for posting on this topic first, and encouraging me to do the same. Because if we are being honest, before I read it I was going to write a post about deli meat. I’m serious.

I would love to hear and struggles or vents that you may have on the week. And any recommendations you may have to stop biting my skin like a wild animal.

Cheers!

5 comments:

  1. i mean what's wrong with deli meat, really?! but real talk, keep rehabbing that foot and enjoying things like yoga and spin! it will get better. 'just keep swimming, just keep swimming'

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  2. Hey You! First of all, writing about all of it always helps! And Girl, you just got to take a step back and look at the big picture....life changes so quickly, one day at a time!! And have you been reading any devotionals or your bible? I do every night and it keeps me focused and grounded - and I have been nibbling on my nails some lately too! Its stress....keep up with the yoga and the deep breathing! Love and Peace, you are awesome! Come home and watch Mary play VB some time :) Your favorite Aunt :)

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  3. Needed this post Kait. My week has been complete sh*t & I'm tired of turning it on for the kids who have no idea. I feel lonely & far from God but know deep in here somewhere I'm not alone. Thanks for the solidarity. Def glad for the post!!

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  4. I'm really sorry you've been having such a tough time :( I've been feeling restless and like I'm failing, or just going through the motions a lot lately. It's such a frustrating feeling and I'll be praying for ya (both of us) that we can just find peace with whatever the bigger struggle is. There are days/weeks/months where I seriously cannot stand my current financial/professional stage in life. Just the utter sense of purgatory. BUT, there's always a day that reminds me how much I have going for me, and it all comes into perspective. Thanks for being so open :)

    Love you! Hugs from Littleton!

    -Bridget

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  5. Ahhh...so sorry to hear you are in this spot with the foot! You've had more than your share w/ injuries this year (and I think you're copying me b/c I had that exact combo a few years back). Anyhow, honest is refreshing, so thanks for sharing. And: light at end of tunnel, to be sure!

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