Friday, January 31, 2014

competitor

This week flew by. It was glorious. I kind of feel like on Monday I blinked, and all of a sudden it was Superbowl Weekend. Ushered in by a beautiful sunrise.



So, what is wackjob Kait gonna throw at you for some Friday entertainment? How about a quick story?

A week or two ago, Andrew and I decided that we were going to see Lone Survivor. I showed up at his apartment around 6:15 pm so that we could share split a Trader Joes pizza prior to walking down the street to the theater.

Around 6:45 we finished stuffing our faces eating, and realized we had well over 2 hours to kill before the 9:45 showing. Didn’t time that out too well.

Somehow, as we cleaned up and sat back down at his kitchen table over some wine, we got into a heated ‘What do we really want to do with our lives’ debate. One of those deep conversations that you can only have with a select few people in your life, which gets so intense that you lose track of time for a significant while.

I love Andrew for many reasons, but towards the top of that list is that he will always push me. Always. So he sat there and asked me what my fears were, what was holding me back from studying to get my PT certification, why I am not going after things that I'm so passionate about.

And with tears in my eyes like the emotional wimp that I can sometimes be, it basically came down to fear, and stagnancy.

I’m a big competitor in certain areas of life. I like to excel, I like to run fast, I like to beat people. I like to do things well, not half-assed. Recently I’ve been on a don’t be a (insert p-word here) rant, as anyone who has spent a significant amount of time with me recently could tell you. And so another good question that he threw at me was -

“What’s your plan for 2014? Are you racing? How are you going to compete in life this year, because we both know that you need that.”


I do. I just don’t know what my bodies going to let me do yet. And I sure as hell am not going to pay an absurd race fee to do it ‘for fun.’

A shamrock shuffle at this point would be just that – a shuffle. Some people shuffle, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I prefer to see 6's in front of my 5k pace.

I’m getting antsy. I see race ads popping up everywhere, and I want to sign up. It’s one of the reasons that I sometimes avoid reading other blogs, because I get down on myself about not having some epic 2014 year of races planned.

I’m convinced that sitting on my ass all day is doing more harm than good for my freaking hamstring.
I’m convinced that crossfit would be a great solution for me. Yet I also know that that I still can’t afford it.

Basically, I realized that I was/am in a weird rut. I don’t have any races to train for, and I basically half-assed my way through life in January. Maybe I need to cut myself some slack, but I don’t think I do. Basically, what I need is for Jillian Michaels to walk into my house, scream at me, possibly backhand me, and then write me an epic workout plan for the entire year.

This post has no point but to be transparent and let you all know where I stand. I have a lot of awesome ideas in my head as to what I want this year to look like, and I think it’s time to hold myself accountable and start acting on them, don’t you agree? And as I sit here, on the eve of February, I’m feeling more motivated than ever.

Hold tight kids, 2014 is about to start FO’ REAL. I leave you with a jam for #Backthatazzup Friday that sums up this post perfectly.

A Little Less Conversation (JXL radio edit remix) by Elvis Presley on Grooveshark

Cheers –


K

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