Independence

This is going to go nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Are you ready?

I realized recently that there’s just something about sitting on a rooftop deck on a summer night.  Any deck for that matter, but of course my rooftop deck is my favorite. Watching the sun slowly sink behind the city of Baltimore, and being aware of that moment when the automatic timer clicks on and the lights lining the deck railing fade onto a glow.

There’s also something about summer in a city. I don’t know what it is, but it makes me feel like I’m a part of something big, something way bigger than myself. It's electric. It’s like a community in which we are all automatically friends, because we love Baltimore damnit.

Does that even make sense? It’s unrelated to what I’m about to say, but I wanted to say it, because it brings me joy.

Disclaimer: I wrote this yesterday, 7/3.

I haven’t written since early June, and I can’t say I missed it too much.  That’s blunt but it’s the truth. I’m kind of tired of taking pictures of my food and drinks and some things that deep down I just don’t really care about anymore.

Maybe it’s partially because I’m not racing anymore, and race recaps have always been my favorite to write about. Maybe I just want to buy a new pair of running shoes and try them out without feeling like I have to report back on them. Maybe it’s because I’m wedding planning and that’s exciting and a lot of my time now goes into the logistics of planning one of the biggest parties of our lives. I could blame it on family stuff, extra volleyball practices, wanting to enjoy summer; I mean the list goes on and on.

But the truth is really this,

I LOVE writing – it was one of my first joys growing up, and will continue to always be one.  I love opening up a blank email template, word document, or notepad on my phone and seeing where my fingers take me. I have days where they itch to blurt out the weird thoughts and questions swirling around in my head, and the emotions seeping out of my heart. I love the independence that comes with writing. And the minute that it started to weigh; the second that blogging became more of a task to check off my to-do list versus an enjoyment, well I knew it was time to reevaluate.

If you’re a blogger and you’re reading this, this isn’t me tearing down the blogosphere. At a point in time it was for me, and it was fun and I enjoyed writing multiple times a week and feeling like I was part of an online community.  But that feeling has kind of faded away… and that’s ok right?

So.

This isn’t a big ‘I’m shutting down my blog forever peace out homies’ type of this. It’s simply me stating that my priorities have changed, and while I love you guys, I don’t want to lose the joy and independence that comes with writing. Therefore, I will write when I want to write, about whatever I want to write. Maybe sometimes I will post them, maybe I won’t. I like to look at it more like a ‘clean slate’ type of a deal than hitting the delete key.

Thanks to the friends I’ve made along the way, and the readers who have diligently read my rants and ramblings. I hope we can continue our relationships, but I cannot promise consistency in what I’m putting out. This is just me being Kait, trying to be transparent and honest about this crazy nutso beautiful life that we are running around in, while I sit in Midway airport enjoying a glass of wine and a four hour flight delay.

Cheers to change, freedom, and this wonderful country we all live in.

Kait.