Compare

Solitude is a kind of a funny thing.  I think sometimes the word can tend to have a negative connotation, but it's not necessarily bad right - everyone needs some alone time.

However it's fascinating to me how everyone needs different doses of it.  I have friends who hit a point where they just NEED some alone time to recharge, reset. I think I fall more in the middle of the spectrum, I enjoy some solitude, but too much of it and I start to get in my own head.

I didn't really want to write about this, because it's a little bit sensitive and personal and honestly maybe border-line childish? And while what I'm about to say might be a big huge DUH, I don't know, I kind of want to talk type through this.

Too much occasional alone time has led to too much occasional social media time, which in turn has led to me playing the comparison game.  It's almost humorous, because I used to YELL at my friends when they would do it.  But in a recent conversation, the tables turned.

Basically, I disclosed that I was considering unfollowing a handful of people on social media because their lives were making me sad.  Not because their lives themselves were sad, but because of what they were constantly portraying.

Some of you might be reading this and are like, "Wait hold on though Kait, you're posting pictures of the beach every other day."

Touché.

However, my life is not a beach.

I took this last night, isn't it pretty!

Social media can really suck man. It can suck because, it basically allows people to paint whatever picture they want about their lives.  And rarely is someone going to choose to display a bad day, a sad day, an argument had, etc.

DISCLAIMER:  I am not unhappy.  Please don't read into this post. But let's be real here, we are all struggling with different things, we all have problems, there are always a variety of challenges.

Basically, I had to be forcefully reminded of this by my friend, like I suddenly had a maturity level of a brainwashed 16 year old whose only goal in life is to be part of the cool crowd.

Is that still a thing anymore? I hope not.

So I'm posting this as a reminder, mostly because I needed the reminder.  Pictures, and statuses, and videos - they don't fully represent that person, or their life.  And while it's awesome to be able to share the beautiful and happy PARTS of peoples' lives from over 6,000 miles away, I need to cut out the bad habit of looking at those parts, and assuming it's a whole.

Wow, that looks like an awesome weekend they had. I'm pumped for them!

End thought. Stop there. Don't start comparing, leave it at that.

It's actually a good rule for life as a whole - not just social media.

I hope this doesn't somehow offend anyone. It's simply exactly what I wrote.  Actually, if it does offend someone, I'm not sorry; this is just another part of social media.  We all have the ability to express ourselves however we want (outside of nudity, that's pretty often blocked still) - and this is just me expressing a recent struggle.

ANYWAYS, love you all.

-Kait

The F Word.

I read a great post on Miss Zippy’s (my running coach before my IT band shut down) blog this morning. It gave me encouragement to write to you guys today.

Driving into work this morning, I was pondering what I wanted to blog about. I’ve been a little off this week due to personal stuff that I don’t feel like sharing with all of cyberspace, so it’s been kind of a weird week. My immediate thought process was, in order to hide my ‘off-ness’ from all my fantastic readers, I would just write a Weird Wednesday post about something super out there (which sadly isn’t too hard for me) and call it a day.

Then I read the post mentioned above, on “Fakebooking.” Anyone who is consistently using social media knows this isn’t something new. Facebook more often than not is the land of ‘hey, look what I did, my life is perfect and nothing is ever wrong!” And sometimes, it’s freaking exhausting, to the point where you want to roll your eyes and chuck your laptop out the window.

Guilty.

I like to think I make attempts to stay transparent on here with you guys. I’ve shared struggles with moving, injuries, etc. But let’s be honest, unless you are one of my closest friends, did you know that so far I’m having a fabulously crappy week? Probably not. I certainly didn’t announce it on Facebook.

Let me clarify, I’m not looking for reasons to sit here and bitch. In fact, I don’t really want to bitch at all. I posted this on Instagram last night and I mean it:

source

Yet I strongly believe that sharing struggles and being real are simple ways to help others. Because to take off that ‘perfect social media mask’ and declare that you are failing at something, or need help, or need a hug, well, I think that’s super respectable.

So, let’s dabble shall we?

I’m sucking at most of my New Year’s Resolutions. Pretty badly. For one, I’ve been chewing my cuticles raw to the point where I maybe should just start wearing gloves 24/7. It’s ugly and I hate the habit but right now it’s getting the best of me. Does anyone have any tips for this?

I kept it zoomed out to keep the grossness factor to a minimum.

I know I wrote that I was going to stay positive about this stupid stress fracture, and I’m trying. But not being able to run is really getting to me. A lot.

I threw a small tantrum while trying to submit my taxes last week. It was my first time doing them on my own (Andrew had to help me a lot too) and I really don’t understand them. I’m really trying to cut the H-word out of my vocabulary, but I think I hate them.

I am honestly, genuinely fearful that I’m currently failing. Like, big picture failing. I don’t really know how else to put it. Because when I take a step back and say to myself, "How well is my life  reflecting Jesus in this moment?" Well, I’m not sure that it is.

best camp ever.

I cried at yoga last night. Not like, sitting there bawling, but I definitely welled up and let my tightness and newness to the practice finally get to me. Thank goodness the room was dark. Oh yeah, and I haven’t lifted weights in over a week. Remember when I gave that lecture about how important lifting weights is?

Lastly, I miss volleyball. Mainly the team aspect of it.

There’s some realness for you. Big thanks to Amanda for posting on this topic first, and encouraging me to do the same. Because if we are being honest, before I read it I was going to write a post about deli meat. I’m serious.

I would love to hear and struggles or vents that you may have on the week. And any recommendations you may have to stop biting my skin like a wild animal.

Cheers!